


She sends the rain

by connyhascontrol



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Tattoo Parlor, F/F, Fluff, Katya gives Trixie her first tattoo, Lesbian AU, Praise Kink, Useless Lesbians, and they both discover things about themselves, with cats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-21
Updated: 2018-10-21
Packaged: 2019-08-05 09:12:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 19,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16365020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/connyhascontrol/pseuds/connyhascontrol
Summary: Katya loves her job as a tattoo artist, she loves her friends and she loves her cats. That's really all she needs and a girlfriend is definitely not included in her plans. One extremely beautiful, charismatic girl with a wicked sense of humor walking into her studio doesn't change that, even if Katya can't get her out of her mind. Or maybe she just needs a little push in the right direction.





	She sends the rain

**Author's Note:**

> Hi friends! This was supposed to be just a fluffy fun little thing about useless lesbians and then it got longer and longer and not what I had in mind when I started writing this at all. But fear not: they're still gay and dumb! 
> 
> A huge thank you goes to [Naty](http://pichitinha.tumblr.com/) for beta reading and being generally the best!
> 
> [Here's a playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/badwolfonbakerstreet/playlist/3b5XbxgeZfj0RzqruzRjci?si=2lTmg_aRRd-byuWBilvXpw) to go along with the story. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this and if you do you could leave me a comment, I'd really appreciate that!

After waiting for over half an hour Katya accepts that her appointment is not going to show up. That doesn’t happen very often since getting one with her at all is hard enough and the few times it has happened Violet had gotten very indignant on her behalf, complaining about people wasting her time. But it means they won’t be getting their down payment back and Katya doesn’t mind the break, especially today. It’s been too hot to get a good night’s sleep all week and she feels exhausted. That’s what she gets for moving to California. 

She has just decided to go grab a coffee as soon as Violet gets back from her lunch break when the little bell above the door chimes. When Katya doesn’t hear the telltale clacking of Violet’s heels on the tiled floor she makes her way from the backroom to the front and is greeted with the sight of a girl applying a thick coat of pink lipstick in the reflection from the glass surface of the front desk. When she sees Katya approaching she quickly stuffs it in the pocket of her white denim hot pants, Katya’s eyes following the movement and getting stuck on her large, bare thighs for a moment, but she quickly looks up at her face again. 

“Hi, what can I do for you?” 

The girl looks like she was made for the Californian summer, with her luscious figure, golden skin, the two thick blonde braids and a few loose strands of hair framing her face in a way that looks careless, but Katya is sure was deliberately achieved. Underneath her white crocheted crop top she wears a bright pink bikini top, matching the heart-shaped pink shades sitting on top of her head and the ridiculously tiny pink backpack she has slung over one shoulder. It’s a lot of pink.

“Hey! Do you do walk-ins?” she asks around her chewing gum, the country lilt taking Katya by surprise.

She doesn’t do walk-ins but for some reasons Katya finds herself asking, “What do you have in mind?” The girl starts rummaging around in her backpack, fishes out her wallet and pulls a folded piece of paper out of it. She unfolds it on the front desk and Katya sees it’s an old receipt with a little sketch on it. She picks it up and recognizes it as an ornate T, surrounded by swirling lines.

“What does the T stand for?” she asks casually, mentally preparing to advise her against getting any part of her boyfriend’s name tattooed onto her body.

“Trixie,” she answers brightly and Katya perks up a little. So maybe a girlfriend, which isn’t better to have tattooed, but Katya is always more comfortable in the presence of gay women. It’s also possible that Trixie is the name of her dog. She’s done quite a few dog names.

“Who’s Trixie?” she asks with a smile, still keeping her voice casual, and the girl grins at her.

“I’m Trixie. I figured the person I should be loving for the rest of my life is me and this is going to be a reminder of that.”

Katya laughs a little in surprise. “I love that!”

“So, can you do it now?”

Katya pulls her phone out of her pocket to check the time. She’s got about two hours until her next appointment. She works fast and it’s a simple enough design. “Sure!”

She takes Trixie into the backroom and recreates the sketch on the computer, talking Trixie through the parts she needs to adjust, making sure the lines are apart far enough to stay delicate and clean. Trixie listens attentively, her large brown eyes earnest, and she seems to trust Katya with the changes she says are necessary. The entire time Trixie seems to be bursting with nervous energy and it’s obvious it’s her first tattoo, even without her telling Katya. But she does, three times. 

When Katya finally places the stencil on the inside of her arm just below the crook and pulls back the paper, Trixie can see what the finished tattoo will look like and all nervousness seems to disappear for a second. Transfixed she stares at it and then suddenly giggles. It’s a delightful sound and Katya can’t help but grin.

“You ready?” When Katya puts on gloves and unpacks the needles she learns what fear looks like on Trixie. Even through her thick makeup she can see all the colour drain from her face and her fingers curl into a tight fist. Maybe this is going to take longer than she thought after all.

“Are you sure you want this? Last chance to get out. You wouldn’t be the first one.”

But Trixie’s jaw clenches and she shakes her head, the braids bouncing with the movement. “No, I’ve thought about it for an entire year. I want this.” 

Katya nods and in her hands the tattoo machine begins humming with life. “Let me know anytime if you want to take a break.” 

With her left arm Trixie grabs the armrest, takes a deep breath and says, “Okay.” She hisses when the needles make contact with her skin and Katya decides it’s time for some distraction.

“You really thought about this for a year?” she asks, not taking her eyes off Trixie’s arm.

“Yes,” she presses out through clenched teeth. “Last year my girlfriend and I wanted to get--” She hisses and Katya finds her focus almost shifting as she hears  _ girlfriend _ . “We wanted to get matching tattoos and then a day before the appointment she left me.” Katya can hear her take another deep breath. “So I decided I was going to get this tattoo. But I didn't want it to be a breakup decision and told myself that if after one year I still wanted to get it, I would. It's exactly one year today and I thought if I don't get it done today I’ll chicken out.”

“Well, look how far I already am, you're doing so well!” Katya takes the machine away and wipes away the excess ink as well as some blood so Trixie can see better, but when she looks up at her her eyes are fixed on Katya, her face flushed, and she’s biting down on her bottom lip. 

“Are you doing okay? Do you want to take a break?”

She vehemently shakes her head. “No, I can do it,” she assures Katya so she keeps going. Two minutes later Trixie does ask her for a break and seems really embarrassed about it.

“I looked up which parts of the body were supposed to be the least painful and I'm still being such a wimp about it,” she confesses.

“Oh, no no no! Every body is different and you know the best what you can deal with. It’s good that you asked me to stop. And look, we’re almost halfway done, it’ll be finished in no time.” Katya encouragingly pats her arm and notices the goosebumps all over her arms and legs. “Oh, are you cold? Sorry, I’ve got the AC on full blast, I don’t do well with the heat. Hang on, I’ll adjust it.”

“Oh no, it’s fine!” Trixie says, but Katya is already up and tugging the gloves off. While she turns the AC down in the backroom, the bell above the door chimes and this time Katya can hear Violet’s heels clack on the tiles. She turns around to a large cup of coffee and a paper bag being held up to her face.

“Your break ended at least 30 minutes ago.”

“That’s why there’s a cinnamon bun and not just coffee today.” Violet flips her long, dark ponytail over her shoulder, not having the decency to look even the tiniest bit guilty. Her makeup looks freshly applied and Katya is sure she spent her lunch break doing a lot of things, but certainly not having lunch. At least she’s brought coffee, even if Katya’s too busy to actually drink it now. 

She makes her way back over to her station, loudly letting Violet know, “I would appreciate it if you could plan getting fucked around our opening hours.” Trixie is grinning when she reaches her, not bothering to pretend she didn’t hear.

“You’re just mad because you can't get laid!” Violet calls from the back and Trixie screeches with laughter. Katya looks at her with mock offence.

“Don't let her think she's funny! And you're supposed to be on my side anyway.”

“What, the side of people who can't get laid? No, thanks, I'm good.” She cheerfully blows a bubble with her gum and pops it loudly.

“Okay, I’m gonna go back to repeatedly stabbing you with a bunch of needles now, that's what you get for making fun of your tattoo artist.”

Trixie's cheeky grin disappears, as does most of the colour in her face, and Katya almost regrets having to keep going.

“I can wait if you need some more time. Or we can finish it another day, whatever you're comfortable with.”

Determination flashes in Trixie's eyes.

“No, I can do it.”

“Halfway done!” Katya announces a few minutes later as she wipes Trixie’s arm clean. “You’re doing so well!” At that Trixie moves her legs and almost jostles Katya’s arm. She puts her left hand on Trixie’s leg to steady her. “That’s not a great idea while getting a tattoo. I need you to hold still for me, can you do that?” Katya glances up at Trixie’s face and she’s biting her lip again, but nodding earnestly.

“Sorry.”

She works in silence for a minute and then Katya hears the bell above the door go. Violet actually goes to the front immediately. She's not a bad employee most of the time, she just likes having sex with her new girlfriend more and Katya can't blame her.

“I want to make an appointment with Katya,” a male voice says without any sort of greeting and even though her station is around the corner and out of sight from the entrance, Katya can imagine the expression of displeasure on Violet's face. She doesn't take kindly to being treated like a machine and Katya supports her on whatever steps she decides to take against rude people.

“Hiiiiii,” she greets the man in a sugary sweet voice. “I’m  _ so sorry _ but Katya is fully booked until next spring. You can subscribe to our email newsletter and you'll be among the first to know when she opens up new slots for next year.”

In her head Katya replays the conversation she’s had with Trixie and realizes with relief that she didn’t introduce herself. Otherwise Trixie might have some questions why Katya took her as a walk-in.

“Next year? Are you kidding me?”

“I’m afraid not.” If she didn't know Violet, Katya might even buy that performance. Neither her nor Trixie say anything, obviously listening in on the conversation happening out of sight.

“That's ridiculous! She must have something free in the next couple of months.”

“She really doesn't.” Katya can imagine the expression of faux remorse on her face as Violet says it. Normally Violet would offer an appointment with her, but she doesn’t and Katya can’t blame her. She wouldn’t want to spend any more time with that person either. Once more he complains and insists there must be a free slot in the next few months and when he is denied once again he leaves, the bell above the door announcing his departure with a friendly jingle. 

“Wow. What an asshole,” Trixie says. “This Katya must be great though, to be fully booked for the rest of the year. I can’t believe I have to settle for you,” she adds dryly.

Katya grins and looks up at her through her bangs, but doesn’t say anything. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Violet popping her head around the corner.

“I just kept a douchebag off your back, you’re welcome,” she says casually and disappears again.

“Oh my god!”

At Trixie’s shocked voice Katya takes the gun away from her skin and shrugs a little.

“You’re some kind of tattoo celebrity and you didn’t tell me!”

Katya gets back to work and Trixie hisses.

“Sorry. Violet exaggerated, I'm actually only booked until November. I’m not a celebrity, I’m just good.”

“And so modest!” Trixie says through gritted teeth 

“Do you want to take another break?” 

Trixie’s braids bounce with her shaking head. “No, I want to get this over with.”

“You’re so brave.” Katya is only half kidding as she says it, since her earlier encouragements seemed to work. 

“Hey, if you’re booked for months why did you agree to do this?” Trixie gestures at her arm, that Katya doesn’t look up from as she answers.

“My appointment didn’t show up so I had some time.”

Trixie hums pensively but doesn’t say anything. Instead she starts to hum along to the music that’s quietly playing from the little speakers on the walls, probably to distract herself. As the song changes from Annie Lennox to Queen she even starts quietly singing under her breath and Katya thinks she has a nice voice. Her accent is very charming. While Trixie sings Katya keeps quietly working and only then remembers she had meant to keep Trixie distracted. At this point she is straight up singing along to Bruce Springsteen’s ‘I’m on fire’ and Violet wanders into view. Trixie stops as if she only just realized what she was doing. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.”

Katya glances up at her. “That’s alright, I don’t mind.”

“I was just wondering who would support Katya’s terrible outdated music choices,” Violet says. “Wait, you’re not the guy who wanted the face of his horse on his chest.”

“I am definitely not that,” Trixie agrees.

“He was a no-show.” Katya doesn’t look at her and Violet snorts inelegantly. 

“Right,” is all she says before she goes off to do something probably not work related. 

“Are you her boss?” Trixie suddenly asks.

“I sure am!”

“Does she know that?”

Katya just laughs.

As soon as Katya announces she's done and thoroughly cleans the new tattoo, Trixie seems to forget any and all pain and stares at her arm with almost childlike wonder.

“Do you like it?” Katya asks, fairly sure she knows the answer already.

She still gets a rush of joy when Trixie says, “I  _ love _ it!”

Knowing her customer is happy and that she did a good job is always a great feeling, but Trixie looks at her as if she created a miracle and Katya feels a sense of pride swell in her chest. 

“Can I take a picture for our Instagram?”

“Sure!” Trixie agrees and proudly holds her arm out. Once again Katya carefully wipes away the blood and then quickly snaps a picture with her phone. With a filter the redness and the slight swelling will be hardly noticeable. Then she cleans the fresh tattoo one final time before putting plastic wrap around Trixie’s arm

“Do you have an account? So I can tag you in the picture?” Katya doesn’t know where the question comes from. Violet always does this, she doesn’t. But Trixie is nodding and smiling so Katya grabs a notepad and a pen from the front desk and hands them to Trixie. She writes her username down in large, swirly handwriting. Katya almost expects her to dot the i’s with hearts, but she doesn’t. 

Trixie looks at her earnestly with her big brown eyes while Katya explains how to take care of the tattoo. She looks a little deflated when Katya tells her she can’t tan or go swimming for four weeks but still nods dutifully. Finally Katya sells her a cream to put on the tattoo to help the healing process and instructs her to come back in three to six weeks for a check-up.

“I thought you were so good, what do you need to check up on?” Trixie asks with a grin.

“Just making sure it’s healing alright and that you take care of it properly.”

“Of course I will!” she promises, plucks her shades from the top of her head and pushes them up the bridge of her nose with her perfectly pink manicured index finger. “I’m gonna be very good!” she adds and Katya thinks she might have winked at her from behind the shades but she isn’t sure. Then Trixie turns around, the bell chiming as she leaves, and Katya’s eyes follow her through the window as she walks down the street until her pink backpack disappears out of view.

“I at least keep my fucking outside of the studio,” comes Violet’s vaguely amused voice from behind and Katya looks at her leaning in the doorway to the backroom. 

“I didn’t fuck her!”

“No, but given the chance you would have.”

Katya gasps in mock offence. “Of course I would have! I’m not an idiot.”

Violet shakes her head but smiles as she turns around and leaves Katya with the memory of sun-kissed skin and the scent of bubblegum.

*

When Katya gets home that night she strips off her sweaty clothes and takes a cool shower right away. She feels like she’s sweaty again the minute she has dried off. Even for an LA summer the weather has been brutal and for someone who sweats as much as she does it’s unbearable. What she wouldn’t give for a nice thunderstorm or at least some rain. Katya feels like she should be worrying about the environment but she’s just hot and miserable and has no energy to care about literally the entire world.

She puts up as much of her hair as will cooperate. Katya had chopped off her long blonde hair into a bob in spring, hoping it would be less hot, but she hadn't considered that it meant she could no longer pull all of it into a bun and on top of that she constantly has her bangs sticking to her forehead. All in all it had not been one of her brightest ideas but she couldn't really bring herself to regret it because it suits her well. In only underwear she wanders through her loft, made suspicious by the peace and quiet.

Finally a movement on the couch catches her eye. Monet uncurls herself, stretches and greets her with a quiet  _ ‘mrrp’ _ , pressing her head into Katya’s waiting hand before finding a new position to lay down in. Cracker regards her briefly with a sliver of one blue eye and then goes back to sleep. When she gets home Katya is usually greeted by cacophonous meowing, letting her know her cats are nearing a critical point of starvation and it’s all her fault for neglecting them for so long.

“It’s even too hot for you, huh?” Her question is ignored but she goes to fill up both their bowls with kibble anyway. The sound is enough to rouse both of them and after grabbing a water bottle from the fridge, she watches her cats scarf down their dinner at high speed. Afterwards Cracker slinks off to the couch again, but Monet brushes around Katya’s legs and she crouches down to pet her.

“You’re welcome. Just you wait, we’re gonna teach Cracker some manners at some point.”

Instinctively her hands search the spot on the counter where she’d always keep her cigarettes and lighter but all she touches is the cool stone surface. That’s right, she quit. Again. But it’s been five days and she has a good feeling about it this time. It’s not so bad when she works, she has to pay attention to the task at hand but she still finds the whole process enjoyable and it’s so second nature to her that it’s still relaxing. And she gets to have interesting conversations with all kinds of people. Work isn’t the problem. It’s when she’s home alone that Katya feels the itch underneath her skin come back with a vengeance. She groans and pushes the frustration down. 

The only sounds in the apartment are the humming of the fridge and the AC and Katya turns on the TV to keep her brain occupied. Aimlessly she switches from channel to channel, dissatisfied with everything that’s on but not willing to pick out something on Netflix and commit to watching it. A flash of pink finally catches her eyes, her finger stilling on the remote. It’s apparently some sort of Barbie movie.

“Gay,” Katya says out loud while Barbie is holding both her friend’s hands in hers, singing about how they’re always going to be together. It doesn’t capture her attention for longer than that and she goes back to zapping through the channels. She knows she only stopped to watch it because all the pink reminded her of Trixie. She gets a lot of pretty girls in her chair and in various states of undress as well, but Katya usually has no problem just doing her job and not thinking about how pretty they are. Because she’s not a creep. 

But Trixie hadn’t just been pretty, she had been the type of girl Katya thought of back in Boston when she told her friends she was going to have sex with so many gorgeous Cali girls once she moved there. It’s been five years and she hasn’t done an awful lot of that. Trixie had been funny too. Katya hadn’t known that yet when she’d agreed to take her as a walk-in, but she generally trusts her instincts and they had been right again this time. 

There is no harm, Katya thinks, in letting her thoughts drift to the way Trixie’s nose crinkled when she laughed or how she blew bubbles with her gum and loudly let them pop, like Katya hadn’t done since she was 8, how her smooth thighs had been so close to Katya’s hands and how she’d sung  _ ‘Tell me now, baby, is he good to you, can he do to you the things that I do?’ _ with her teeth clenched in pain and how with her voice it had still sounded soft.

She is going to see Trixie again in a few weeks for her check-up and then probably never again. It’s okay if she indulges a little.

It’s not until the next evening that she remembers she took a picture of Trixie’s tattoo to upload to the studio’s Instagram. She finds the pants she wore the day before on her bathroom floor and pulls the piece of paper Trixie had written her account name on out of the pocket. She grins when she sees it’s @trixiepixie. She touches up the image a little until it matches the muted but crisp look of all the other pictures on the profile. Then Katya has to come up with a caption. She wants it to be smart and funny but then remembers she’s never tried that there before. What if Trixie notices she put more effort into that caption than any other? What if it makes her notice that all the tattoos with their owners tagged in them are Violet’s work? Katya tells herself to just get on with it, it’s not like Trixie is going to go through her pictures anyway. Probably. It doesn’t matter. She tags her in the image and then writes,  _ ‘Helping out with some self-love!’  _

Almost immediately Trixie likes the picture and comments,  _ ‘It’s so beautiful, thank you so much!!’  _

Then a notification pops up letting Katya know that  _ trixiepixie _ follows her now. So far she had refrained from doing so, but now Katya taps on the notification and it takes her to Trixie’s profile. It’s public and immediately she is greeted by Trixie’s face, over and over and over. There’s a lot of selfies. They’re well lit and from different angles and there’s a lot of close-ups. It takes Katya a moment to realize they’re supposed to showcase the different makeup looks she’s done on herself. Katya is fairly simplistic when it comes to makeup, mostly sticking to a smokey eye and a red lip on the days she wears makeup at all, but she can recognize the artistry that goes into Trixie’s looks. They’re colorful and bold and she wears them with obvious confidence, as if they’re as much a part of her as the dimples that come out in the few pictures she genuinely smiles in. The rest of the time her face looks carefully arranged somewhere between sincerity and seduction.

Between the selfies there’s pictures of the beach, ice cream, palm trees and her being surrounded by friends. What you’d expect from a beautiful woman living in LA. Except for a picture she posted a week ago that seems to show an empty office.  _ ‘Things are happening!!!!!’  _ the caption reads. Katya has no idea what that means but she’s not going to snoop. Instead she goes back to her own profile and replies to Trixie’s comment,  _ ‘So glad you like it!’  _ and only a few seconds later a red heart pops up, letting her know Trixie liked her reply. On a whim Katya navigates back to Trixie’s profile and hits ‘follow’. Then she closes the app, plugs her phone in and goes to bed.

*

The next weeks pass  _ fine _ , as most of her weeks have passed since she opened the studio. She’s busy, she takes care of her appointments, she chats with her clients, she lets Violet make snarky comments about her and she spends time with her friends. She even stays away from the cigarettes. It’s the longest she’s ever managed and Katya is determined that this time it’s going to stick. 

At night in bed when she scrolls through Instagram, next to fellow tattoo artists Trixie’s face pops up now. A few times Katya watches her stories, but it’s mostly Trixie filming her friends with her voice in the background and Katya feels weird and a little creepy watching people she doesn’t even know go out to dinner.

She gets to meet Violet's girlfriend, or at least see her from afar. The two have apparently overcome the initial phase of wanting to have sex 24/7 and must have spent at least enough time talking that Pearl let Violet know she's playing at a club and that she should bring some friends. Katya doesn't really do clubs anymore, there's too many people and no air, but Violet insists she should come after her friend Valentina (who Katya has only met a few times and doesn't trust because she's too beautiful) says she can't make it. Katya suspects Violet doesn't want Pearl to already figure out she only has about four friends and in the end she agrees to come.

The music Pearl plays isn't her taste at all, but after two vodka sodas she's loosened up enough to go dance with Violet, Adore and Shangela. For a while she manages to lose herself in the beat and her own movements. Then a guy bumps into her and spills most of his drink over her top.

In the bathroom Katya assesses the damage. It's not visible on the black material but it's sticky and smells strongly of alcohol. She simply pulls the shirt over her head and rinses it in the sink. A girl comes out of a stall and washes her hands next to her.

“You need any help there?” Her voice is a deep drawl and only then does Katya really look at her. She is considerably taller than Katya, but just as lean, and with an impressive tower of blonde hair piled on top of her head. She waits for Katya's reply with a smile, her deep brown eyes fixed on her face and not her torso that's only covered with a simple black bra and her tattoos. It reminds Katya of another pair of brown eyes that have been popping up in her mind lately.

“I’m okay, but thank you!” Katya expects her to turn around and leave, but instead she rests her butt on the sink.

“I’m Alaska.”

“Katya.” She decides she's done all for her top that she can for now, wrings it out and then pulls it over her head again. The cold wet fabric touching her overheated skin makes her inhale sharply but then it's lovely. She kind of dreads that it's going to dry again in no time. Alaska is still there and looking at her and it's a look she knows well. Were they both a few years younger Katya would probably pull her back into the stall, neither of them caring about being pushed against the grimy wall. But she's 31 now and Alaska looks to be around her age. She'd deserve a bed, a couch at the very least. She considers asking her to get out of there right now but then realizes she’d only ask because that's what people ask in this situation. Pushing herself back between the sweaty bodies on the dance floor doesn't sound too tempting either.

“Would you like to have a drink with me, Alaska?” Katya finds herself asking instead.

“I would love that!”

As soon as they leave the bathroom the music is back to a deafening volume and Katya realizes having a conversation is going to be difficult. That's another thing she doesn't like about clubs. After they've both gotten a drink at the bar Alaska grabs her hand and leads her to the back, her tall figure carving a path through the crowd, where it's even more dimly lit but there's a booth where they can sit. Alaska pulls Katya down next to her and then leans in close, speaking directly into Katya's ear.

“The music is terrible.” 

Katya pulls a face. “Don't say that. The DJ is my friend's girlfriend and I have to be nice about it later.” Alaska gets closer to her than Katya thinks is strictly necessary to hear and the hand that lands on her leg definitely is. But she doesn't say anything. She is pleasantly buzzed and it's nice to have somebody so clearly interested in her. 

Violet likes to make fun of her for not being able to get laid, but it's not that she  _ can't _ , she just doesn't. Going out and finding somebody always seems like too much effort just for sex. This, however, is no effort at all. Alaska looks at her with barely veiled desire, laughing at every dumb joke Katya makes and she keeps touching her, featherlight, but after a while it starts feeling too heavy. 

The thing is, Katya doesn't only find casual sex too much of an effort, it's also not enough anymore. It's not _exciting_ anymore. Maybe she was a bit of an overachiever in her twenties and now sex has nothing more to offer her. Maybe she's gained all she can from it and now she's just _done_. It's a somewhat depressing thought, especially when there's a beautiful woman pressed to her side, but Katya can't even bring herself to put an arm around her. She doesn't know what she was thinking buying her a drink. Nothing, probably. She curses herself for even coming tonight, she could be curled up on her couch with her cats watching Netflix right now. Instead she has to figure out a way to let Alaska down. 

Adore interrupts her thoughts by sliding onto the bench opposite her.

“Here you are! We’ve been looking for you.” Unbothered by the scene before her, Adore introduces herself to Alaska. Katya thinks she should probably mind the interruption, but she doesn't. Adore waves across the room and soon Shangela and Violet join them. Alaska moves away from her a little but underneath the table her hand is still on Katya's thigh.

“No, I came here with a friend but I think she left with some guy without telling me.” Katya tries to make sense of Alaska's words and it takes her a second to realize it was the answer to a question Adore asked her. She tries to follow the half-shouted conversation around her but there's a piercing headache building behind her eyes and after a while she pushes herself out of the booth, Alaska retracting her hand in surprise, and explains, “I need some air,” pointing towards the exit, suspecting nobody had heard her.

Stepping outside feels like letting herself slide into a pool, the cool air engulfing her body and immediately she can feel herself think more clearly again. She doesn't know what is wrong with her, but she knows that she needs to go home and sleep off whatever weird mood has got the better of her. She considers just texting Violet to let her know she's leaving and call an uber when the door opens behind her and Alaska slinks her way over to Katya. This time she keeps her distance, though, apparently sensing that Katya doesn't want to be touched anymore. She looks at her differently too, like she's no longer trying to be flirty.

“This isn't happening tonight, is it?” she asks with a lopsided grin, no annoyance in her voice. Katya stuffs her hands into the pockets of her tight black pants and pulls up her shoulders in an awkward extended shrug.

“No.” Then she adds, “I'm sorry,” because she feels like she should. She isn't sorry it's not happening, but she is a little for the mixed signals she's been giving Alaska and then leaving her alone with Katya's friends.

“Don't be! You don't owe me anything. I'd rather you tell me now than I take you home and have mediocre sex you're not really into.” 

“I'm sure there's somebody in there who's super into you and didn't just plunge into some weird existential crisis.”

Alaska laughs. “That's alright, I think I'm gonna head home. Just once I wanted to not be the one who goes home alone while her friends are all off hooking up, but here we are again.”

“You could borrow one of my cats, to complete the spinster look,” Katya offers with a grin.

“Cats?  _ Plural?  _ I'm glad I got out of this in time.” Alaska pulls her phone out of her clutch, the light from the screen illuminating her face from below. “My uber is gonna be here in a few minutes so I’m gonna go. Good luck with your existential crisis, it was very nice meeting you, Katya.”

“You too.” Katya says and she means it. While she watches Alaska’s swaying hips move away towards the street she thinks that had they met on another day they might have been  _ a thing _ . And had they met under different circumstances they might have become good friends. She curses herself for being so useless all of a sudden. What the hell is wrong with her?

“What the hell is wrong with you?” The door had been pushed open with the force that always lets her know Shangela is about to descend on her. “I can’t believe you just let that funny, beautiful woman, who was clearly into you, walk away!” Katya doesn’t say anything. “Maybe if you run you can still catch her!” Shangie suggests and Katya snorts. 

“This isn’t Pretty Woman. I wasn’t feeling it and she was fine with that.” Katya’s hands instinctively pat down her pockets but there is no pack of cigarettes to keep her occupied. For once she doesn’t crave the nicotine, she just wants to look anywhere but Shangela.

“Hm.” She gives Katya a calculating look. “That’s not even what happens in Pretty Woman.” When Katya doesn’t reply again she frowns. “Okay, tell me what’s going on with you, because it’s clearly something.”

Katya sighs. How is  _ she _ supposed to know what’s going on with her? 

“I don’t know. I guess I had some sort of epiphany tonight that I no longer want to sleep with women I just met and won’t see again.” Katya is well aware that Shangela knows Katya hasn’t gone looking for anybody in the past, but if the opportunity presented itself she was also not one to turn it down. Until now.

“Okay, what do you want then?”

“Jesus, Shangie, I don’t know.”

“Well, then maybe try to figure out why you don’t want casual sex?”

Katya shrugs once again. “It’s just not…” she hates herself a little for saying that word, but it’s the truth, “ _ fulfilling _ .”

“So you’re maybe looking for a real connection,” Shangela offers up and Katya scoffs a little.

“It’s not like those past hookups weren’t real people I had real conversations with.”

Shangie rolls her eyes. “You know what I mean. Conversations that don’t happen right before or after sex. A relationship.”

Katya blinks at her with a frown. She isn’t the type for relationships. She had never believed that was for her, had never even tried to make anybody stick around. Even as a kid she had never wanted to get married. She likes people and getting to know people, it’s her favourite part of her job, along with the fact that tattoos are fucking cool. But she’s never been one to pine for having a girlfriend. She wouldn’t even know what to do with one. She doesn’t exactly believe that relationships can’t work, she just never could imagine them working for her. 

“That doesn’t sound right.”

“It makes sense. You’re over thirty, you’re incredibly successful in your dream career, you don’t have to worry about money, you have friends who love you, what else is there that’s missing from your life? What else are you striving for?” Shangela looks at her with curiosity.

Katya wants to tell her that there’s nothing missing in her life and that she certainly doesn’t need romance to make her complete. But Shangela has a point that she’s _settled_. She knows she’s lucky to have her life be as comfortable as it is, but that’s exactly it, there’s no more challenges for her. Maybe it is time to try some new things.

“I’ll think about it.”

*

“Hi, I’m here for my check-up.”

Back at her station Katya raises her head. She knows that voice and that accent.

“Sure!” she can hear Adore say at the front desk. “Do you wanna come to the back with me so I can have a look?” 

Suddenly Katya's mouth is dry and there's an uncomfortable heat rising in her. Travis looks up from his phone and down to where Katya is working on his leg. Or was until Trixie walked in.

“Everything okay?”

He is one of Katya's regulars and he takes the whole process stoically. At the same time Trixie's voice comes from the front.

“Um, actually I was hoping Katya could do it? Since she did the tattoo.”

“Can we take a short break?” Katya asks and Travis shrugs.

“Sure.”

As Adore says “She has a client right now.” Katya pulls her gloves off and walks to the front.

“Trixie, hi!” she says casually. Trixie flashes her a happy grin. With the heat still going strong she is wearing a baby blue short flowy dress that might just be a swimsuit cover up. It suits her but Katya is momentarily taken aback by the lack of pink.

“Hey, Katya! I'm here for my check-up.”

“I was just about to--” Adore starts but Katya interrupts her.

“That's alright, I can do it. My hand needed a break anyway.” She gestures for Trixie to go through to the backroom and before she does she gives Adore a look that Katya doesn't know how to interpret. Apparently neither does Adore because she looks after Trixie with a frown. 

When Katya sits down Trixie immediately puts her arm out towards Katya and she gently holds Trixie's elbow with one hand to steady it while she examines the tattoo.

Before she's even had the chance to say anything Trixie excitedly blurts out, “I did everything exactly as you told me. I used the cream and I put on sunscreen and I didn't tan or go swimming the entire time. And I didn't scratch, even though it was itchy as hell.”

Katya can't help and smile at how eager she sounds. “Good! It looks like it's healed well.” As she says it she notices that at the top part of the T there’s still a small scab, the line looking dull and cloudy. She brushes her thumb over it to confirm the little bump and Trixie's arm twitches. 

“Sorry, does it still hurt?” Katya asks, worry starting to rise in her.

“No!” Trixie quickly answers and then explains more quietly, “I'm just pretty sensitive.”

“Hm. How long has it been?” 

“Three weeks today.”

Katya nods and brings her face closer to the tattoo. The redness is all gone. She looks up at Trixie.

“Normally the scabs should all have fallen off by now, but that’s the part where I did most of the shading, so it can take longer to heal.” With featherlight pressure she brushes her finger over the bump again and Trixie blinks several times, her eyes big and dark. She seems a little deflated, as if that bit of slowly healing skin is somehow her fault, a character flaw. 

“I don't think it's anything to worry about, but I’d still like you to come in again in a week or two, so I can make sure.” Katya reassures her.

At that Trixie's smile is back and she nods.

“Can I do anything to help it along?”

“You've done great so far, it’ll get there on its own, so just keep doing what you're doing.”

Trixie bites her lip and nods again. They look at each other for a moment and then Katya realizes she’s still holding onto Trixie with one hand while the fingertips of the other rest delicately on the soft skin of her arm. She quickly retracts both her hands and Trixie’s arm drops without the support. She brings it close to her body and her fingers glide over the little bit of raised skin. 

“Right,” Trixie says. “Then I’ll see you next time?”

“Mhm.”

The both stand up and Katya can see a flash of bright pink through the high slit of Trixie’s dress. She remembers the pink bikini top she wore last time, today she seems to be completing the set. For some reason knowing that Trixie is wearing pink after all feels right. Katya doesn’t know why she cares. She doesn’t even like pink. 

“I could have handled that,” Adore says with slight accusation in her voice when Trixie has left. “You didn’t have to drop everything you were doing.”

Katya looks up at her in surprise. “I know! I just wanted to make sure she is happy with it, it’s her first tattoo.” As she says it Katya realizes she didn’t even ask Trixie if she’s happy with it and if she wants any alterations done. She always asks that. She’ll just have to make sure she’ll see to Trixie the next time as well so she can correct her mistake.

“Um, Katya? Everything alright there?” a voice calls from the back.

“Oh! Travis!” Katya hurries back to her station, grabs a fresh pair of gloves and gets back to the appointment she had completely forgotten about. 

*

“Jeez, what the hell is wrong with you today?” Violet snaps at her on Monday morning when Katya has only been in the studio for about twenty minutes and has maybe uttered a whole three words in her direction. 

“Nothing,” Katya replies and doesn’t elaborate. What’s wrong is that over the weekend she’s had two dreams of Trixie. Or maybe one and a half, she isn’t sure the first one counts. She can’t remember seeing Trixie’s face in it, just glimpses of a body pressing against hers, with tan skin and soft curves and a breathy voice saying her name over and over again. But she  _ knew _ it was Trixie, so it probably does count. Before she had even fully woken up she had pushed her hand down her underwear, coming with her mind continuing the images her subconscious had conjured up in her sleep. 

She didn't overthink that one. Dreams are weird and she knows that sex dreams don't necessarily mean anything. But the dream she had the night before had really thrown her. This time it had undeniably been Trixie, in her pink bikini tanning on Katya's rooftop terrace, that she's not been on since she stopped smoking. In reality it holds one palm tree in a pot that despite Katya forgetting about it constantly is stubbornly clinging to life, but in the dream it had been a lush garden with colorful flowers and thick green foliage. And in the middle of it Trixie, lounging luxuriously and eating strawberries that seemed to appear out of thin air. Katya remembers Trixie's soft eyes and smile on her and she knows they spoke but as soon as she had woken up she couldn't remember what they said. 

That dream had left her in a different state of dissatisfaction than the first one and it wasn't as easily taken care of. Katya had thrown the sheets off her body that were slightly damp with her sweat. Her phone had let her know it was only 5:23 but she was already too hot and too...  _ something else _ to fall back asleep. Instead she'd gotten up to feed the cats and only in her underwear had scrolled through Instagram, waiting for the water for her green tea to boil. Trixie’s face had greeted her with a glossy makeup look in orange and blue and a sultry look, so different from the sweet smile Dream-Trixie had had for her. Katya closes the app, thinking that maybe she had only opened it, hoping to see Trixie. 

Maybe Shangela was right and she really is looking for a deeper connection and now poor Trixie got caught up in this. It's probably hormones, Katya tells herself. She has caught herself longingly looking at babies a few times recently, even though she has  _ never  _ wanted kids. This relationship stuff is probably the same thing. She'll probably just have to sit it out and wait for it to pass.

That night in bed Katya isn't even fully aware of what she's doing and curses herself once she realizes she's tapped Trixie's Instagram story, but then she grins at Trixie's voice going “Oh wow!” over and over while she swatches lipsticks on her arm. Then it switches to photos of that same office Katya's seen before with half assembled furniture. There's a boomerang of Trixie with a power drill. She's in jean shorts that cut into the soft flesh of her belly and a sleeveless plaid button-down shirt that she's tied into a knot above her belly button. Katya snorts at the realization that that's her version of a practical work outfit. The next one is her assembling a shelf and with pink glowing letters she's added the caption ' _ Construction Barbie _ ’. Finally there's a video with Trixie not visible, but turning around in the room, showing off all the furniture they built.

“Look at all these shelves I put up!” she says proudly and from somewhere behind the camera someone else speaks up.

“Well done, you're such a good girl.”

Trixie screeches. “Oh my god, stop!”

“I thought that's what you wanted.”

A third voice with a slight lisp joins the conversation.

“Yes, but from Tattoo Lady and not you.”

At that the video cuts off abruptly and it automatically moves on to someone else's story, but Katya isn't watching anymore. She's sitting up straight in bed, trying to make sense of the conversation she's just listened in on. Is she Tattoo Lady? That wouldn't make sense, why would they be talking about her? And what did they mean, Trixie wants something from Tattoo Lady? 

Tattoo Lady could just be any woman who has tattoos. And who apparently Trixie wants to be pleased with how she put up her shelves? 

But Katya can't help wonder - what if she is Tattoo Lady? She's been called that before, has called herself that before because, well, it fits. Why would she have an opinion on office furniture? It doesn’t make any sense and Katya spends a long time tossing and turning in the darkness.

*

When Trixie shows up for her next check-up, Katya has a little time until her next customer is supposed to show up and she gets to see Trixie’s face light up with a big smile as soon as she spots Katya behind the front desk.

“Hi, Katya!” 

Trixie simply saying her name should not have any impact on her, but there’s a happy grin tugging at the corners of her mouth as soon as Trixie greets her. Today she is wearing a yellow sundress and her golden eyeshadow makes the brown of her eyes look warmer and deeper than it already does. The light catches matching golden sparkles in her pink lipstick and Katya realizes she’s staring. 

“That lipstick is really pretty,” she finds herself saying and it’s true, but it’s not the lipstick she cares about. Apparently it’s the right thing to say because Trixie’s face lights up with excitement.

“You like it? Thank you! It’s my own color.” Katya doesn’t know what that means and the confusion must show on her face because Trixie explains, “I’m starting my own makeup line with a friend and we’re about to launch our first batch of products, including this lipstick.” 

“That's amazing, congratulations!”

Trixie thanks her, looking both proud and a little bit flustered. So that's the office that's been showing up on Trixie's Instagram and that she's been working on.

“So, are you gonna check me out?” she then asks with a sly grin.

“What?”

Trixie laughs, not her scream-laugh, something more quiet and breathy. “My tattoo,” she clarifies and Katya prays for a hole to open up in the ground beneath her and swallow her whole.

“Oh. Right, of course.” Obviously Trixie meant the tattoo. That's why she's here. In Katya's tattoo studio.

Without Katya saying anything else Trixie leads the way to the backroom, sitting down and holding her arm out for inspection again. Right away Katya can see that the previously dull-looking bit of skin now looks the same as the rest of the lines, suggesting the scab has come off. To be sure she brushes her fingertips over it again and the little bump is gone. Trixie inhales through her nose and sits up straighter.

“So, what’s the verdict?”

Katya looks from her arm up to her face. “Does it still hurt or itch?” Trixie shakes her head. “Then it’s healed perfectly.” Trixie grins and as she does it hits Katya that this means she’s not going to see Trixie again. That shouldn’t mean anything to her, but somehow it does. She knows that she doesn’t actually  _ know _ Trixie and whatever she feels for her is just a weird projection of her own messed up subconscious. A tiny voice at the back of her mind asks if that isn’t the case with all feelings about other people and Katya tries to shake it off. She can feel Trixie’s eyes on her and makes an effort to smile again. She has a job to do.

“Are you still happy with it? Are there any parts you would like me to do alterations on?” A part of Katya wants her to say yes so they can schedule another appointment. But after thinking for a moment Trixie shakes her head.

“No, it’s perfect.” She doesn’t sound thrilled about it.

“Right,” Katya says. Neither of them moves. Then Trixie suddenly looks at her with excitement. 

“I want another tattoo!”

Katya blinks in surprise. “You do?” She can hear the bell above the door chime. Violet can handle it. On the one hand Katya totally gets it, she had decided she wanted another tattoo the second her first one was finished. But Trixie hadn’t said anything about it before and she seemed to be a lot more sensitive to pain than Katya and the first one was already such an ordeal for her. Nonetheless Trixie nods with her eyes full of determination.

“What do you have in mind?”

Trixie opens her mouth but nothing comes out of it. She blinks a couple of times, not looking at Katya. Then a voice at the front says, “I’m just here to pick up my friend Trixie.”

It makes both of them look towards the door. Trixie frowns, gets up and walks outside, Katya can only follow. 

“Shea, what the hell are you doing here?”

Katya takes in the scene before her. A beautiful, tall, black women is casually leaning against the front desk and Trixie looks at her with an expression Katya hasn’t seen on her face before. Her jaw is clenched, making her whole face look more angular and there’s annoyance in her eyes. Her friend, however, is looking at Katya with interest and a slight smile. She pushes herself up and reaches Katya in two long strides and extends her hand. Katya shakes it in confusion.

“I’m Shea, hi. I just came by to pick up Trixie.”

“Katya,” she just says. She is fairly certain she recognizes Shea from Trixie’s instagram. 

“Yeah, because I couldn’t have made the five minute walk on my own.” Trixie voice sounds cold as she says it. Does that mean Trixie lives only five minutes away? Shea winks at Trixie and the thought that maybe she is Trixie’s girlfriend creeps up on Katya. She had assumed Trixie was single, after all they had talked about her breakup, but that had been a year ago. Plenty of time to get over that and get into a new relationship. But then why does Trixie seem angry? Out of the corner of her eye Katya can see Violet grinning and wonders what the hell she knows that Katya doesn’t. Then the door to the studio opens and two women step inside.

“Oh my god,  _ Katya _ ?”

The voice sounds familiar and Katya looks away from Trixie and Shea, who seem to be having a silent conversation with only their eyes, towards the two new arrivals. Her gaze gets stuck on a familiar blonde updo.

“Alaska?” It’s not really a question, it is undoubtedly the woman she met a while ago in the dimly lit club. Here in the studio Katya notices that she is even more beautiful than she remembered. Alaska slinks towards her, pulls her into a half-hug and brushes her lips against Katya’s cheek in a casual kiss, as if they’ve known each other for ages. 

“What are you doing here?” is all Katya asks.

“She’s here with me,” the other woman interrupts. Katya hadn’t even looked at her until now and wonders how that is possible. She is only a little taller than Katya, fairly muscular, wears a tiny denim skirt and an artfully ripped t-shirt, some expensive looking high heels and to top it all of her hair is dyed in rainbow colors. She looks like somebody who is used to having everybody’s attention.

“I’m Willam?” she says like that’s supposed to mean something to Katya. “I’m your 3 o’clock?”

“Oh, right!” They hadn’t met in person before, done all communication via email so she can’t really expect Katya to know who she is. Then again they do have an appointment.

“She’s the friend I was originally with the night we met and who disappeared without a word,” Alaska explains with a grin.

“Oh, she’s  _ that _ girl?” Willam asks and Katya wonders what Alaska had told her. 

“I should go.” 

At Trixie’s words Katya turns to her. She still sounds cold. 

“Oh.”

“I have a lot to organize for the launch.”

“Right.” There’s too many people in the studio and there’s a strange tension in the air. Katya wants to drag Trixie into the backroom again so they can talk in private, but they don’t have anything to talk about. 

Shea looks back and forth between the two of them and then says, “Katya, we’re having a launch party in two days, you should come!” Trixie’s head whips around and she stares at her, but Shea carries on as if she hasn’t noticed. “You can bring somebody if you want to.” Her eyes flicker to Alaska.

Then Violet, who had so far kept her mouth shut, chimes in, “No, Katya is single.” 

Something is happening right now, but Katya has no idea what.

“I don’t want to impose,” she finally replies to Shea’s offer.

“You wouldn’t be!” Trixie assures her. “Please come if you want to!”

“Are you sure?”

Trixie rolls her eyes. Katya has a hard time imagining Trixie being unsure about anything ever. “Yes!” She starts digging through her bag and pulls out her phone. “Give me your number and I’ll send you the details?”

Katya takes the phone out of her hand, enters her number and hands it back. Trixie’s annoyance seems to have disappeared and she gives Katya a bright smile. 

“Great, I’ll text you.” Then she grabs Shea by the arm and starts pulling her towards the door. “See you in two days!”

“Bye!” Katya calls after them, feeling somewhat stunned by the turn of events.

“That was interesting,” Alaska drawls with a grin and Violet snorts. Willam looks up from her phone with boredom written all over her face.

“Can we finally get going?”

Yes, work. She needs to concentrate on work. Willam and Alaska follow her to the back and they talk through the design Katya has done based on Willam’s wishes. She’s happy with it and they’re ready to get started in no time. Before they begin Willam goes to the bathroom and Katya gets her station ready, the whole time with Alaska’s eyes on her. Finally she speaks up.

“No wonder you didn’t want to take me home that night when you have something going on with Barbie girl.”

“It’s not like that! She’s a client.”

“Uh-huh, that’s why you’re going to her party and why she looked so down when she thought you and I were a thing.” 

Katya frowns. “She did?” Alaska only laughs.

She’s already halfway done with Willam’s tattoo when she remembers Trixie had said she wanted a second one before they got interrupted by Shea. They hadn’t talked designs or appointments. It’s fine, Trixie has her number and they’ll see each other at the party in a few days. 

*

The overarching theme of the Dollface Cosmetics launch party seems to be pink and Katya thinks she should have seen that coming. She feels terribly out of place in her embroidered black dress between all the people dressed in pastels and with intricate makeup. She only wears her signature smokey eye and red lip, painfully aware that it’s cheap drugstore stuff and she feels like she's sweated most of it off an hour after she got there.

Violet on the other hand seems to fit right in, even though her aesthetic is a lot darker than their environment too. Katya had begged her to come with her, after all Shea had said she could bring somebody and Katya couldn’t bear coming on her own. She’s gone to get another drink, leaving Katya in a corner of the room, which seems to be the cleared out warehouse attached to the office.

So far she had only seen Trixie from afar, giving a speech with her friend Kim who is her business partner. She got to see what Trixie looks like when she dresses up and even from across the room Katya can tell what a work of art her makeup is tonight. She looks beautiful and, more importantly, she looks happy. People keep coming up to her and even in her corner Katya can hear her scream-laugh a few times. She’ll wait until the excitement has died down and go talk to Trixie later, she tells herself.

“Katya! You came!” Shea walks towards her and greets her enthusiastically. “Trixie will be so happy.”

Katya smiles, uncertain about what to say to that. “She seems to get enough attention as is.” She nods in the direction of Trixie surrounded by a group of people, who all seem to be glued to her lips, smiling at her and clinking their glasses against hers.

“She deserves it. She’s such a hard worker and a really smart business woman. She’s great at makeup too and it’s not like she’s less creative than Kim, but Trixie could sell ice to inuit.”

Katya fans herself with one hand. “I could use some of that right now,” she says with a weak smile in Shea’s direction. As always she is sweaty and the small space being filled with this many people doesn't help. She feels all around uncomfortable and Shea looking at her like she's assessing her doesn't help.

“So, do you work for Dollface too?” Katya finally asks when the silence between them becomes too much for her, even though Shea looks completely relaxed. She’s still not sure what kind of relationship her and Trixie have. It doesn’t seem very likely that they’re dating, but they might, not all couples are overly affectionate all the time.

“No, I’ve just been friends with Kim and Trixie for ages so I’ve been helping out as much as I can. They’ve been trying to pull this off for like five years now and it’s amazing to finally see it happen. I’m so proud of them.”

So they’re just friends. Katya nods slowly. “Opening your own business when you’re a young woman and nobody takes you seriously is such an accomplishment.” She remembers how small and insignificant she had felt, going from bank to bank and getting her applications for a loan declined everywhere by overweight men in ill-fitting suits, who all looked like they were about to succumb to a serious heart disease and who had treated her like she was a spoiled little girl asking for a pony. She also remembers finally standing in her new studio and crying when it was all done, ready for the first client. She hopes Trixie feels that way now.

A few minutes later Shea spots somebody at the other side of the room and excuses herself, leaving Katya to her drink and her corner. She considers making a trip to the snack table when she sees Violet’s tall form weaving around people towards the center of the dimly-lit room, right where Trixie is standing. When she reaches her Trixie turns towards her with a big smile and then looks around, her face falling a little. Katya can see that they’re talking and immediately a sense of alarm sets in at the thought of Violet’s big mouth being unsupervised around Trixie. Then Violet turns and points right at her, directing Trixie’s gaze towards Katya. Trixie grins and gives her a little wave across the room.

“Fuck,” she quietly swears to herself. She can’t possibly stay there now so Katya starts making her way through the crowd, squeezing herself past what seems like hundreds of bodies. It feels like it takes her at least 10 minutes until she reaches the two of them.

“Hi, Katya!” Trixie looks so genuinely happy that for a second the anxious feeling in the pit of Katya’s stomach eases.

“Hey! This is amazing,” Katya vaguely gestures around herself at the room in general, “Congratulations on starting your own business, you must be so proud!” Trixie thanks her with a grin, a real one that shows her slightly crooked teeth, not the calculated smile she puts on her instagram. That’s beautiful too but now she looks at Katya with warmth in her eyes and the joy is infectious, making Katya grin back at her. 

She doesn’t even realize they’re just standing there looking at each other until Violet finishes her drink, the sound of her sucking on the straw breaking the moment.

“I like your dress,” Trixie says and it takes Katya by surprise.

“Oh, thank you! I feel severely underdressed with all these beauty people around.” She awkwardly pulls on the ruffled bottom of the dress where it brushes her thighs, and notices she’s managed to rip her fishnets, hoping Trixie doesn’t see. Trixie has one eyebrow raised as her eyes follow the path of Katya’s hands and then she leans in.

“You have nothing to worry about,” she says conspiratively and Katya’s stomach flips. She laughs nervously.

“You look amazing, obviously.” She gestures up and down Trixie’s body, covered in a skin-tight dress with long bell sleeves in a pink and orange paisley print that doesn’t even come down to the middle of her thighs. Her feet are in white boots with block heels, completing the 70s look, and Katya wonders how Trixie hasn’t passed out yet in the heat.

“Thank you!” Trixie puts one hand on her hip and poses in an exaggerated way with a ridiculous pout to match, a sound leaving her lips that's somewhere between a whine and a moan, and Katya bursts out laughing. Trixie doesn’t manage to keep a straight face either and shrieks, reaching out and briefly grabbing Katya’s flailing arm in her excitement. 

“It’s like the two of you were made in the same weirdo lab.” Violet looks at them with an exasperated smile and Katya wants to kick her but Trixie laughs again. 

“We’re having fun, you should try it sometime.” 

Trixie’s comment sets Katya off again while Violet tries to look annoyed, but the corners of her mouth are pulling up as well. 

The tall Asian woman Katya has learned is Trixie's business partner Kim joins them and Katya is taken aback by how tall she is and how intricate and beautiful her makeup is. She is surrounded by glamorous Amazons, apparently, and usually she isn't very self-conscious but for some reason today it's getting to her. Trixie introduces them.

“Oh, I finally get to meet Tattoo Lady!” Kim exclaims and Katya blinks in surprise. So she is Tattoo Lady. She’s sure that means something but right now she can't think of what it is, exactly.

“What a shame, you're obviously much too cool for Trixie,” Kim carries on with a flat voice and again Katya doesn't know what to make of that. Trixie punches her in the arm. Hard, judging by the way Kim flinches.

“Don't let yourself be fooled into thinking she’s cool, she just has a lot of tattoos,” Violet chimes in and Katya turns to her, mouth agape.

“What the fuck is this? ‘Put your friends on blast’-night?”

Trixie screeches. Then her eyes focus on something across the room.

“Oh, Miss Fame is here, we gotta go say hi,” she says and grabs Kim by the arm. “You guys enjoy yourselves, I'm gonna come talk to you later.” She points one finger at Katya's face, as if she's going to make sure she is enjoying herself. Katya  _ is _ , right now, talking to Trixie, and feels herself deflate a little when she walks away from them. 

“I swear to god, if you don't make a move soon I'm going to lock the two of you in a cupboard until you get your shit together.” Violet sighs and takes off in the direction of the drinks table, Katya following her. She hadn't talked to anybody about the complex feelings she has about Trixie and she had thought she was being discreet. Apparently not.

“Look, just because I'm weirdly hung up on her doesn't mean I have to make her uncomfortable.” 

Violet stops abruptly and Katya almost walks into her.

“Make her uncomfortable? She is  _ obviously  _ super into you! She's talked to her friends about you, to the point that one of them came by the studio just to get a look at you.”

“What? No!”

“What the hell did you think Shea was doing there?” Violet asks with a look as if she's being dense.

“Picking Trixie up.” Katya's voice gets smaller with each syllable. Considering she now knows where the office is and that it really only is a five minute walk from her studio that does seem somewhat unlikely. 

“You really think she's into me?”

“Girl, she's been flirting with you ever since she sat in your chair and got flustered every time you said how well she's doing.”

At that Katya grabs Violet so she'll actually look at her while talking.

“What are you talking about?” she asks, the memory of that one Instagram video repeating in her mind. 

Violet grins. “She seems to like it when you tell her she's a  _ good girl _ .” She puts on a breathy high pitched voice and Katya's mouth drops open.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes, bitch!” Violet finally makes it to the drinks and gets one for herself and Katya. “I can't believe you didn't notice that, she was not subtle.”

The conversation in the video is still on Katya's mind and suddenly it makes sense. Trixie is into her. Trixie thinks about her  _ like that _ . Suddenly Katya feels light with a sense of guilt she didn't know she had falling off her. It's okay if she  _ wants  _ Trixie. She's allowed to be attracted to her and she's apparently not making her uncomfortable. This changes everything.

“Hello? Are you still here?”

Katya blinks rapidly and then looks up into Violet's eyes.

“Fuck, I gotta do something.”

“Yes!” Violet says triumphantly and clinks her glass against Katya's.

“But why hasn't she made a move? She even talked about me with her friends on her Instagram story, but it's not like she's asked me out.” Apparently Katya's guilt has now been replaced with doubt and it's not much better.

“She has? Then she probably thought that if you know she's interested the ball is in your court. You haven't exactly let her know what's up with you, have you?”

“Yeah, but how would she know I know that?”

“Oh my god, do you not know that she can see who watched her story?” Violet seems somehow both shocked and delighted.

“She can  _ what _ ?”

Violet doesn't answer and just laughs.

“Come on, we're going to dance.” Without waiting for a reply Violet grabs Katya by the arm and drags her towards the dance floor.

“I don't like dancing,” Katya complains half-heartedly, but doesn't stop moving.

“I know, but I love it and you made me come here just so I could watch you be an idiot around the girl you like, so you're going to dance.” 

They dance for as long as Violet wants to and to the point that Katya feels completely disgusting. Her bangs are sticking to her forehead, the sweat turning them almost dishwater brown where they're mingling with her melting foundation.

Out of the corner of her eye Katya keeps seeing Trixie's blonde hair poking out above the heads of her guests, and she knows she's going to stay until Trixie keeps her promise and comes talk to her again. She also knows that that's probably going to take a while, since the room is still packed and Trixie seems determined to have a brief chat with everybody here. It's late when Violet gives up.

“I'm going home, you better have something to tell me tomorrow,” she says, barely suppressing a yawn. She has the audacity to still look gorgeous and composed while Katya looks like a drowned rat.

Normally Katya would be asleep at this time, but now her whole body seems to be thrumming with nervous energy. Nothing has changed but  _ everything _ has changed. She's going to wait for Trixie. Something is going to happen. It's seems inevitable, all of a sudden.

By the time Trixie makes her way over to Katya again most of the guests have left and so has the DJ. The warehouse starts looking more like a warehouse and Trixie looks far too glamorous for such a place.

Her face is flushed, her eyes sparkling and her smile wide. She wobbles a little while walking and steadies herself on Katya's arm once she gets to her.

“Whoops!” Trixie giggles and Katya can't help but smile at her in return.

“You're still here,” she states happily. This close to Katya she has to really look down and it gives her an adorable double chin. Her hand is still holding onto Katya.

“Of course! I'm having a good time.”

“That's good! Me too!” Trixie says it like it's a secret and then she giggles again.

“You should, it's your party! You deserve it,” Katya says. She can feel the heat Trixie radiates against her naked arms.

Trixie bites her lip and smiles.

“I like your tattoos,” she says after a moment, her fingers lightly brushing over Katya's arms, making her breathe in sharply. “Especially the cats, I love cats!”

Katya looks down at herself and the black cat shape with the bright eyes in stark contrast. Violet had added the outline of the second cat, not filled in to give the illusion of white, only a few weeks ago. 

“Thanks! They're my cats.” She doesn't think before she adds, “Would you like to meet them?”

Trixie’s other hand joins her first one on Katya's arm, grabbing her firmly, and excitedly she asks, “Oh my god, can we?”

Katya laughs at her expression of childlike wonder. “Sure!”

“Great! I'm gonna get my bag.” She lets go of Katya and starts to walk off.

“What, now?”

Trixie stops and rolls her eyes at Katya. “Duh!”

Katya had expected her to at least say goodbye to Kim but Trixie is back in record time with the thin strap of her purse slung over her shoulder and they leave the party behind.

The air outside is barely any cooler than it had been inside even though it's the middle of the night and Katya, who had hoped for some relief, sighs. Trixie wraps her arm around Katya's elbow.

“How far is it?” Then her voice gets excited as she says, “Ooh, please tell me you have a motorcycle that I get to ride with you!”

Katya laughs.

“No, I don't drive.” Even cars make her stomach clench with anxiety, she could never drive a motorcycle. “But it's not far, we can walk.” They take off in the direction of the studio and it's slightly awkward because Trixie is still holding onto her arm, but her legs are much longer and her steps bigger.

“ _ Nobody  _ walks in LA,” Trixie points out and Katya smiles up at her.

“Guess that makes me special.”

Trixie doesn’t reply, but her fingers briefly squeeze Katya’s arm. They walk in silence for a few minutes, their heels clacking on the sidewalk, until they get to the studio. Katya hasn’t taken them there deliberately, it’s just the shortest way to her place. As they get close to the door Trixie slows down beside her and Katya adjusts her speed, looking at Trixie quizzically. 

“It’s just… I have a different appreciation for this place now that I know what having your own business feels like.” She looks at Katya with such pride radiating off her that Katya can’t help but untangle their arms and grab her hand instead, their fingers interlacing.

“I really,  _ really _ love this place,” Katya says quietly and she knows Trixie understands. They stroll past the dark windows, the black and white checkered floor barely visible in the light coming off the street lamps.

“You do beautiful things here.” Trixie is still looking at the studio and not at Katya, as if she's just stating the obvious. It looks almost reflexive how her hand brushes over her own arm where Katya knows underneath her sleeve is the delicately adorned T she put there only four weeks ago. She's known Trixie for one month and they've only seen each other a handful of times but right now, with them holding hands in the balmy summer night, Katya starts to understand that they have a lot more in common than one would think at first glance. 

When Katya stays silent Trixie turns to her again and opens her mouth, but then seems to change her mind and closes it again. Instead she steps closer, her perfume enveloping Katya, but not in an unpleasant way. It's feminine and sweet, but there's something earthy at the base of it and Katya breathes in deeply. With Trixie's face so close she has to really look up to find her eyes. The street light makes her long lashes throw shadows across her face and it's almost impossible to make her actual eyes out beneath them and Katya thinks she's maybe staring at Trixie's face a little too intensely. But Trixie doesn't seem to mind, she just smiles patiently and moves even closer so that their bodies brush against each other.

Time seems to slow down while Katya's heartbeat speeds up as Trixie leans down, slowly and deliberately, and presses her lips against Katya's. She doesn't dare move, afraid of messing this up somehow. Trixie pulls back a little and Katya's eyes flutter open. Trixie looks unsure all of a sudden.

“Was that okay? I'm sorry if--”

Katya interrupts her. “No, no, no, no! It was perfect.” To show her she means it, Katya pushes up on her toes and kisses her more forcefully. Trixie makes a surprised little noise, half drowned out by their mouths against each other, that puts an entire swarm of butterflies into Katya's stomach.

She is completely lost in the sensation when something cold hits the back of her neck and runs down her back. Within seconds the sound of raindrops hitting the pavement fills the air and they both pull back with a gasp. Already Trixie’s face is wet, the water clinging to her long lashes and reflecting the little amount of light around them. She blinks rapidly, her mouth still open.

“It’s raining,” Katya says dumbfounded. She can feel the cool water drumming down onto her overheated skin and she throws her head back and laughs. “It’s raining!”

Trixie looks at her with confusion and curiosity, then turns and looks back at the studio. 

“Should we go inside?” The wet sleeve of her dress no longer flutters around her wrist but sticks to her skin, right where she’s still holding Katya’s hand.

Katya thinks about it.

“My apartment is just a few minutes away. We could run?” They’re both completely soaked at this point and it would make no difference if they took their sweet time, but at the suggestion Trixie grins at her and squeezes her hand. Katya grins back and takes off, pulling Trixie, screaming with laughter, behind her.

*

By the time Katya unlocks her front door, lightning has lit up the sky a few times with thunder rolling in the distance. Trixie’s hair has gone flat and she's shivering slightly. Without thinking about it Katya hits the nearest lightswitch and immediately goes to get two big towels from the bathroom. When she comes back out Trixie has slipped off her boots and left a damp path to the sofa, where she’s currently squatting and petting Monet, who is purring so loudly Katya can hear it all the way across the room. 

From behind Katya puts one of the towels around Trixie’s shoulders and she looks up with a grateful smile. Katya then holds out the second one to her.

“For your hair.”

Trixie stands up, takes it, and with practiced movement twists it around her hair into a turban.

“What about you?” she asks quietly and suddenly Katya is hyper-aware of the cold fabric of her dress sticking to her body. She still welcomes the change of temperature but the sensation is somewhat unpleasant. She vaguely waves her hand around.

“Oh, I’m fine.” As Katya says it her mascara fully gives up and starts running into her eyes and she blinks furiously as her eyes start burning. 

“Eyes closed!” Trixie orders and Katya complies immediately. She hears the telltale sound of tissues being pulled out of a box and then Trixie gently presses them against her eyes, carefully wiping away the runny makeup.

“Open and look up for me,” she calmly instructs and when Katya does as she’s told, Trixie, who is so very close to her, gently wipes her waterline clean. She dabs at the inner corners and then takes the tissues away. 

“Better?”

Katya nods. “Thank you.” Trixie smiles at her warmly and Katya has to take a deep breath. She doesn’t think she’s ever done anything as intensely intimate as this with a girl she’s brought home. 

“How does your makeup still look flawless?” Katya asks suddenly because apart from her lipstick having worn off a little, there’s nothing smudged or out of place on Trixie’s face.

“I’m  _ very _ good at what I do,” she explains in a low voice, as if she’s telling Katya a naughty secret. Katya bites her lip and Trixie smirks at her, knowing full well what she’s doing. Their moment is broken when Cracker meows insistently and slinks around Trixie’s legs, rubbing herself against her bare calves.

“Oh, hello!” Trixie bends down, one hand holding the towel on her head in place, the other scratching Cracker under her chin. To Katya’s complete astonishment she doesn’t only let it happen, but enthusiastically rubs her head against Trixie’s hand.

“Wow, that’s really rude.” When Trixie looks at her quizzically Katya explains, “I’ve only had her for about three months. She was a stray and she just about tolerates me because I feed her. She doesn’t trust any human. Except for you, apparently.”

“She’s got good taste, then,” Trixie deadpans. “What’s her name?”

“This is Cracker and the other one is Monet.” Katya squats next to the sofa to give Monet some love and not make her feel left out.

“Hi, Cracker!” Trixie coos at the traitorous cat. “I’m very sorry your human is terrible at naming cats.”

“Hey! It’s a good name, they both are!”

“That you think that makes it even worse.” Trixie doesn’t take her eyes off the cat at her feet as she says it.

“She’s named that because she’s thin, white and salty,” Katya explains. Trixie sighs heavily.

“Monet I found in the dumpster behind the Getty Museum and I had been doing some sketches of the Monets they have there.” Katya feels like she’s over-explained what is a very uneventful story and finally Trixie looks at her.

“Wow, you’re such a dork.”

Katya shrugs, not even bothering to try and deny it. Finally Trixie’s face breaks into a grin and she giggles.

“But a dork with a heart for animals.” She leans a little closer to Katya. “Who is a very talented artist.” Trixie almost falls over while trying to lean in even more and instead kneels down. “And who looks  _ so _ hot all the time.”

Their faces are so close again and Katya can’t help but look at Trixie’s lips.

“You make me sound like quite a catch.”

“I think you might be.” As Trixie replies her lips brush against Katya’s just from speaking and then Katya finally closes the miniscule distance between them. Katya notices that Trixie’s lips are much cooler than they were before and moves instinctively closer, as if to warm her up. 

This time there’s no uncertainty in their kiss from either of them. This is where they’re supposed to be and what they’re meant to be doing, Katya is sure of it. Katya’s hand has settled on the fluffy towel where it covers Trixie’s hip and in turn her hands roam over Katya’s back, one of them finding Katya’s neck and keeping her close. She finally pulls away.

“God, you’re so wet and cold, I feel bad for hogging your towels.”

Katya laughs but then registers how cold Trixie still feels against her. 

“Do you want to shower?”

Trixie shakes her head. “No, but I think we should both get out of these wet clothes, don’t you?”

Katya springs to her feet and offers Trixie a hand. She laughs at Katya’s eagerness and takes it, letting Katya pull her up. Once she’s standing she unwraps the towel around her body and carelessly throws it behind her on the couch. Then she unravels the one on her head and briefly rubs it through her hair before it joins the other towel. Once again Trixie takes Katya’s hand.

“Take me to bed.” She kisses Katya sweetly and then waits for her to take the lead and pull her over to the other side of the apartment where her bed is half hidden behind a large folding screen. 

There Katya looks her in the eyes.

“Are you sure?” Their walk home in the rain had sobered Katya right up but back at the party Trixie had seemed fairly tipsy.

Now she looks at her calmly and with certainty, her dark eyes shimmering in the dim light that reaches them from across the apartment.

“I'm sure.”

Trixie lets go of Katya and pulls her dress over her head, fighting with the stretchy material made slightly sticky by the water. She gets it stuck around her shoulders with her arms pointing upwards and Katya has to get as high up on her toes as she can to pull it off her, both of them giggling the entire time. Once they’ve managed that and Trixie has gotten all of her hair out of her face Katya takes her time looking at her. 

Every time they've seen each other Trixie hasn’t been all that covered up, but Katya has never allowed herself to really  _ look _ , apart from a few lingering glances she couldn’t refrain from. Trixie is wearing a peach-colored set of bra and panties that looks beautiful on her tan skin and hugs her ample curves perfectly. Judging by the way she smiles at Katya, she knows that. 

Katya takes all of it in, how her large thighs press together, the way the lace border of the hipster panties cuts into her soft belly, the line of fine blonde hair leading down from her belly button, the moles dotted over her skin. Katya actually sighs when her gaze reaches Trixie's breasts that perfectly fill the cups of her bra, with her nipples peaked and visible through the lace. She wants to put her mouth where the lace trim meets smooth skin but knowing that she could feels too good to be true.

Trixie seems to tire of Katya only looking her fill, because she takes her wrist and places Katya's hand on the naked skin of her waist.

She's touching Trixie and she hasn't disappeared in a cloud of smoke. With Trixie's encouragement she leans in and brushes her lips over her shoulder and then her collarbone and down into the crease between her breasts. Trixie sighs and leans her head back, giving Katya space to touch her as much as she likes and she does, with barely any pressure.

“God, you're so beautiful,” Katya finally says after a parting kiss to the exposed part of both of her breasts. Trixie flushes and then reaches around to the zip of Katya's dress, starting to pull it down. Katya helps by pulling her arms out of it and wiggling until the wet fabric lands on the hardwood floor and she can step out of it. She peels her fishnets down her legs as well and kicks them off. Right away Trixie's hands are on her, her fingertips sliding over decorated skin.

“I'm gonna look at every one of these,” her fingers follow a line of stars down Katya’s side that disappear into the waistband of her black underwear, “but not right now.” 

She surges forwards, her hands winding their way into Katya's hair and then her mouth is on Katya's again, hot and insistent. Compared to Katya, Trixie is so much bigger - taller and broader - and Katya feels enveloped by her, her head swimming with her scent and the feel of her skin. 

Trixie doesn't seem to be holding anything back and it makes Katya braver too, lets her hands wander to Trixie's back and undo the hooks of her bra. Without breaking their kiss Trixie pushes the straps off her shoulders, shrugs out of them and lets the bra fall to the floor between them, before carelessly pushing it to the side with her foot.

Katya pulls back from their kiss, Trixie chasing her lips with her own, apparently not willing to let Katya go.

“I wanna see,” she whispers against Trixie’s mouth and her eyes flutter open. A cat-like smile spreads on her face and she steps back so Katya can look at her properly. 

Now that her bra is off Katya can clearly see the tan lines where sun-kissed skin meets the creamy smooth skin of her full breasts. Her nipples are darker than Katya had expected, had maybe fantasized, and she longs to touch them. Trixie sighs when Katya brushes her thumb over one of them before gently cupping both her breasts in her hands. She's mesmerized by how soft they are and how her fingers sink into them, as she carefully touches her. 

“I'm not gonna break,” Trixie says quietly with a smile.

“I know. But I want to take care of you the way you deserve.”

Trixie brushes her nose along Katya's cheek.

“And what do I deserve?”

Katya grins. “That depends. Are you gonna be good for me?”

Trixie's mouth drops open in a silent gasp and she rests her head against Katya's.

“Figured that out, huh?”

“It took me a while, but I got there.” Katya kisses her gently.

“You bring out interesting things in me. I've never wanted that before.”

“Really?” Katya kisses along her jawline and Trixie sighs when she moves on to her neck.

“You have no idea how confusing it was to sit in that chair with a stunningly beautiful woman causing me a lot of pain while being very sweet, casually touching me all the time and telling me how good I am.” She moans as Katya gently bites the juncture where Trixie's neck and shoulder meet. “It was a day of self-discovery. And I've been thinking about you ever since.”

Katya smiles against her skin.

“Jesus, you talk a lot,” she says and Trixie giggles. “I thought you wanted me to take you to bed.”

She groans. “God, yes, if you don't touch me soon I'm going to die!”

“Then get on the bed,” Katya instructs and Trixie bites her lip.

She crawls onto the covers, on all fours looks over her shoulder at Katya with a coy expression that doesn't fit her position at all and stays like that.

“I see how it is,” Katya murmurs, kneels behind her and runs her hand over Trixie's hips to her ass. She takes her time, touching Trixie with featherlight pressure, never getting close to her center but noticing how Trixie presses her thighs together and how little breathy sighs fall from her lips.

“Look at how beautiful you are and how you're letting me touch you. So good.” Katya can see she has her eyes closed and her mouth open and the whole display is breathtaking.

“Do you want me to touch you some more?” Katya brushes her fingers over Trixie panties and she moans deeply.

A shiver goes through her when Katya finally starts pulling the lace down, adorning the newly uncovered skin with kisses. Katya doesn't bother pulling them all the way off, just pushes them down her thighs a little. Before she can even do anything Trixie whines and lays her head down on her folded arms, making her spine arch beautifully and pushing her ass out even more in an obvious invitation, her pleading eyes turned towards Katya.

“Jesus, you're eager.” She puts both hands on Trixie's hips. “I want you to hold still for me.” Another whine falls from Trixie's lips, but she stops moving and Katya smiles.

“That's it.” Her hand brushes up Trixie's thigh and with her thumb she strokes over her lips, parting them and revealing the pink center that's glistening with wetness. With barely any pressure she moves her fingertips around Trixie's entrance and for a moment Trixie pushes back against her before freezing with a frustrated whine.

“Look at you, you're doing so well.” For her restraint Katya decides she deserves a reward and slides one finger into her. This time Trixie can't help herself but push back against Katya's hand, taking her as deeply as possible and it's so beautiful that Katya doesn't have it in her to say anything. She doesn't want to punish Trixie anyway, she just wants to tell her what a marvelous creature she is over and over.

Slowly Katya starts pumping in and out of her, pushing a high pitched whine out of Trixie with every lazy thrust. In no time she adds a second finger, that slides in easily, and speeds up, Trixie's noises keeping up with the new rhythm. Almost without noticing Katya keeps murmuring half sentences like “So beautiful.” and “Doing so well.” while Trixie's hips keep rocking back and forth. 

Katya can see Trixie's wetness coating her hand and as if in sympathy can feel herself getting wetter in her underwear, her entrance clenching, desperate for some attention. She ignores it, focusing on Trixie instead.

“Can you take more?”

“Uh-huh,” she presses out breathlessly. She looks at Katya with such desperation that she doesn't hold back, pushes another finger into her and groans at how snug Trixie is around her. 

She picks up the pace and Trixie does her best to meet her, even though in her position she can't move very much. She gives up at some point, just letting Katya push into her deep and fast and over and over and over again. With her other hand Katya first pushes Trixie's legs further apart so she can reach and then rubs around her clit, one finger on each side as to not overwhelm her with too much pressure, and with a shout Trixie is coming, liquid running along Katya's arm and trickling down her own legs, leaving a large wet spot on the covers. 

“Oh my god,” Katya groans as she stills her hands and pulls out of Trixie, staring at the film of wetness covering her skin. Then meeting Trixie's heavy eyes Katya licks a long stripe from as near her elbow as she can reach to the tips of her fingers.

“Oh my god,” Trixie echoes, sounding exhausted but satisfied. “Did I just squirt? I've never done that before!” She buries her face in her arms and Katya leans down and brushes her hair to the side so she can press her lips to Trixie's cheek.

“That,” she kisses her again, “was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen.”

Trixie slightly turns her head so that one eye becomes visible again.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

At that Trixie turns enough that Katya can properly kiss her.

“Now lay down and turn around so I can clean you up.”

Trixie grins, follows her instructions and Katya eats her out with slow movements of her lips and tongue to a second gentler orgasm. 

“You done?” she asks afterwards, wiping the wetness from her chin and receives a slow nod and content smile. At that Katya all but rips her own bra and underwear off and climbs over Trixie's face.

“Is this okay?” She looks down at Trixie's face between the v of her thighs and even though mere moments ago she had looked like she was falling asleep Trixie looks up at her with hunger, hooks her arms around Katya's legs from underneath and pulls her closer.

Katya doesn't have any nerves left to hold back and rides Trixie's face in short, fast strokes while Trixie makes her tongue stiff, letting Katya take what she needs. She comes with one hand against the wall, holding herself up and the other holding Trixie's head in place, her throat feeling dry with all the air she's sucked in.

She lifts herself off Trixie with heavy limbs and falls to the side. Trixie scoots closer and presses her warm lips against Katya's cheek.

“Was that okay for you?”

She laughs incredulously. “That was amazing.” She buries her nose in Trixie's hair and lets her breathing even out again, surrounded by her smell. Trixie somehow manages to pull the covers out from underneath both of them and then presses herself close to Katya once they're covered.

Katya feels soft and heavy and she'd like nothing more than to go to sleep with Trixie half on top of her but they've left the light near the couch on. As Katya extracts herself from underneath Trixie her eyebrows pull together into a frown and she makes a sound of discontent, but only opens her eyes slowly when Katya gets up.

“Where are you going?” she mumbles.

“Just getting the light, go to sleep,” Katya whispers back and Trixie hums, closes her eyes and nestles herself deeper into the sheets. She seems to be asleep within seconds. Katya pads over to the light switch and the warm orange glow disappears, plunging the whole loft into darkness. 

On the way back Katya makes a quick detour to the bathroom and while she's washing her hands she takes in her appearance. Despite Trixie’s earlier efforts at wiping off her eye makeup, there are black smudges around her eyes and even some on her cheeks. Her mouth is surrounded by a red stain where her lipstick has migrated after the party, the rain and having her face in Trixie's pussy. It's been a bad night for Katya's makeup. She grins. She knows she's going to regret it in the morning but she doesn't take it off, just dries off her hands, turns the bathroom light off as well and makes her way through the dark apartment back to bed. 

As soon as she gets under the covers Trixie snuggles close to her without waking up and Katya is lulled to sleep by her deep, even breathing and the sound of rain that has eased up into a gentle pitter-patter she can hear through the open window with thunder still rumbling in the distance.

*

When she wakes up Katya is pleasantly warm instead of sweaty and gross for the first time in weeks. There’s a finger tracing the geometric design that leads down her spine and the careful touch raises goosebumps on her skin. She turns her head towards Trixie but stays lying on her stomach. Trixie has her elbow propped up, chin resting on her hand, and Katya’s sheets around her hips. Her hair is flat where she’s slept on it and frizzy on the other side and finally her makeup has started to fade, probably smeared onto Katya’s pillows. She looks like she doesn’t have a care in the world.

“Good morning,” Katya says with a lazy smile, her voice coming out gruff with sleep.

“Morning.” Trixie yawns. “I need to pee, but I can’t get up.”

Katya frowns and then looks down on the bed, finally spotting Cracker lying on Trixie’s legs, curled up and quietly purring. She sits up and as soon as her hands come close to the cat to move her Cracker opens her eyes and stops purring. Katya retracts her hands and the cat relaxes again.

“Yes, I get it, you like her more than me.” Katya points one finger at the cat's face and is met with two slivers of bright blue, eying her warily. “But I’m the one who feeds you and scrapes your shit out of a box, so you should try to get on my good side, missy!”

Trixie snorts and reaches down herself, easily picking the cat up without any complaints from her and as soon as she sets her down on Katya’s legs she jumps off the bed. Katya watches as Trixie casually saunters to the bathroom, apparently completely at ease with her own nudity. Katya’s thoughts start to wander back to last night but get crudely interrupted by Cracker meowing at her accusingly. 

“What? I like her too, we’re on the same side here!”

The meowing continues and soon Monet joins her, so with a sigh Katya gets up to feed them, after pulling on some underwear and throwing on an old baggy t-shirt.

“Wow, you're totally whipped,” Trixie remarks from the bathroom door, still gloriously naked and unbothered as Katya watches the cats. Now fully awake she doesn't know if she's allowed to look anymore. They haven't talked about what they are and if last night was a one time thing. 

With previous one-night stands Katya had complimented them out of the door quickly the next morning, some even in the night, which she admits is not the classiest move, but she had never cared what they thought of her since she wasn't going to see them again anyway. But Trixie isn't just some girl she picked up at a club. They've spent weeks dancing around each other, which is clear as day to her now, looking back. They're playing by completely different rules, except nobody's showed Katya the rule book.

“I can hear you overthinking from here,” Trixie says with surprising gentleness and walks towards her, takes Katya's hand in hers and kisses her sweetly, just for a moment. Then she bites her lip.

“Am I making you uncomfortable?” She looks down at herself and for the first moment this morning doesn't appear fully confident in her nakedness. Katya snorts and slides one arm around her waist.

“The day that you being naked makes me uncomfortable is the day I want you to push me off a cliff.”

Trixie laughs and just like that the tension between them is broken and it's easy again, like it had been last night.

“Do you want… uh, coffee?” Katya offers, realizing she doesn't have anything in for breakfast.

“That's alright, I think I'll have to get going and help cleaning up at the office. I bet Kim is already pissed at me.” 

Suddenly Katya feels mildly bad for having just taken off with Trixie the way they did the night before.

“Oh, uh, I could help?”

Trixie shakes her head at the offer. 

“No, you should enjoy your Sunday morning. But what you could do is swing by with coffee in a few hours, when I've proven that I'm willing to work, and distract me from doing anything useful.”

Katya grins. “I can be distracting.”

“Oh, trust me, I'm aware,” Trixie says close to her lips before closing the distance between them again.

Despite what she says are several extremely annoyed messages from Kim, Trixie takes her time showering and then twists her still wet hair into a bun on top of her head. She's put on last night's clothes again, declining Katya's offer of some of her loose-fitting clothes that Trixie might be able to squeeze into.

Monet and Cracker get a lengthy goodbye, Cracker again rubbing herself against Trixie as if they've been best friends all her life.

“You're gonna have to come back and see her again, or she's going to be so disappointed.”

Trixie looks from Cracker to Katya.

“Is she, now?” she says with a raised eyebrow.

“Mhm.” Katya pulls her close and puts both hands on Trixie's hips.

“Well, I would never want to let her down.” Her face is serious as she says it, but breaks into a grin as she leans down and kisses Katya goodbye. Then she pulls on her boots.

“Will you come save me later?” Trixie calls as she's already waiting for the elevator.

“I'll grab my white horse and see what I can do,” Katya replies from where she's leaning in her door.

The elevator doors open with a  _ ding _ and Trixie is gone.

Katya's phone had been abandoned on the couch last night. It's down to 6% and she plugs it in. Just as she puts it down the screen lights up with a message from Violet.

**Violet**

_ give me the deets!! _

Katya ignores it in favor of taking a shower. She gets dressed and makes her usual green tea. Her cupboards are tragically empty and she decides to go buy some groceries before going to distract Trixie with coffee. She also needs to wash her sheets, she remembers, her thoughts once again drifting to last night. But first she does answer Violet.

**Katya**

_ Trixie came home with me _

The reply is almost instantaneous.

**Violet**

_ and????? _

**Katya**

_ We played Scrabble for hours _

_ What do you think we did?? _

**Violet**

_ bitch you're the worst _

_ we should meet up for coffee later and you can tell me all about it _

**Katya**

_ I can't, I'm gonna go see Trixie again _

**Violet**

_ nice! round two already! _

**Katya**

_ No, she's at the office, I'm gonna bring her coffee _

**Violet**

_ so is she gonna move in with you next week? what have you planned for the wedding? _

For a second Katya considers bringing up how disgustingly all over each other Violet and Pearl are, but she's in too good a mood and doesn't have it in her to be annoyed either. Besides, she has two cats, she's already living some lesbian clichés. And Violet had complained about her not making a move so now she doesn't get to be glib about them catching up.

*

With one hand Katya balances the cup holder while texting Trixie with the other, letting her know she's there. The rain has stopped by now and it's left the air feeling fresh and clean. Katya's hair is for once not sticking to her forehead and she is comfortable after walking somewhere for the first time in weeks.

Trixie doesn't let her wait long and through the glass door Katya can see her hurry down the hallway towards her. She pushes the door open and takes the coffee from Katya, at the same time leaning down and firmly kissing her.

Short strands of hair have come loose from her bun and are sticking up, and Trixie's round face is pink with exertion. She has also exchanged her heeled boots for a pair of simple white sneakers, but she's still in her dress and she pulls it back down where it's ridden up her thighs.

Katya had thought if she was going to interrupt their clean-up efforts, even if invited, she should at least bring coffee for everyone, and had texted Trixie asking for everyone's orders. Everyone turned out to be just Kim and Shea besides Trixie since apparently the clean-up was already done and the rest of their friends had left. Now she is greeted with grateful sighs as Trixie leads her to the warehouse, not from the back where she came in last night, but through the actual offices that she's seen on Instagram.

“Oh god, thank you, Katya!” Shea exclaims and grabs her cup.

Katya takes in the room that is completely changed. All the decorations have disappeared and high shelves are filling the free space where last night people were dancing and drinking. Apparently they're currently moving all the stock back into the room and sorting it onto the shelves.

Trixie sits down on a table and Katya joins her, her legs swinging back and forth. They all sip their drinks and quickly Katya can feel an awkward tension build up. The other three are obviously close friends and she feels like an intruder in their group. The way Shea keeps looking at her also tells Katya that everyone in the room is aware of what her and Trixie have been doing last night. She wouldn't usually care but she's too unsure of what they are right now to be comfortable with knowing others have their own opinion of their relationship, whatever it might be.

As if she could hear Katya's thoughts Kim breaks up the awkward silence with an awkward question.

“So are you guys dating now?”

Reflexively Katya replies with a definitive “No!” and whatever Trixie was going to say seems to be stuck in her throat. She looks at Katya with her mouth still open and hurt in her eyes, making Katya want to take back her hasty reply.

Shea jumps up and grabs Kim by the arm.

“Come on, we're gonna go somewhere else.” 

As soon as the door closes Katya grabs Trixie's arm.

“Trixie, I'm sorry, I…” 

But she shakes her head. “No, it's fine if that's how you feel.” She doesn't look like it's fine.

“But it isn't! I just… I don't…” Katya doesn't know what she actually feels, so she shuts up. 

Trixie gets off the table and stands between Katya's knees, her eyes big and earnest.

“Do you want last night to be a one time thing?”

“Absolutely not.”

Trixie nods slightly at that.

“Do you only want us to have sex?”

Katya thinks that's a weird question, considering she's here because Trixie asked her to bring her coffee, but it's probably a good idea to talk it all through.

“No. I like you.”

At that Trixie smiles. “Romantically?”

“I think so? I've never really done the romance and dating thing and I'm not… I don't know if I can do that properly.”

“Oh, okay!” Trixie says as if that explanation makes sense. “But the dating and romance thing can mean whatever we want it to mean for us. We don't have to call it dating, if you think that's too much, but there's not one thing we are required to do either way.” She takes a deep breath. “I'm not going to pretend I like you less than I do so I can act like I'm a casual person who's fine with whatever, because I do want to spend time with you and get to know you better, no matter where that leads.”

“That sounds good to me.” Katya entwines their fingers. “I also want to kiss you a lot, if that's alright.”

Trixie grins and leans in. “That's great.” The kiss they share is slow, indulgent and deliberate, both of them taking their time mapping out the other one’s mouth and when their lips part Trixie sighs in a way that makes Katya pull her closer.

“Oh! One more question!” Trixie steps back a little and focuses on Katya’s face again. “Do you want to see other people?”

A surprised little laugh bubbles out of Katya. The mere idea that she might want to be with anybody else when Trixie is  _ right there _ is ridiculous.

“Definitely not.”

Trixie grins at her. “Okay, good. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about people doing whatever they want to do with whoever they want to do it with, but I couldn’t deal with that. I couldn’t be not exclusive.”

“I guess that is what we are, then. After one day.” Katya remembers the text conversation she had with Violet earlier and has to admit she had a point. 

“After how long it took to nail you down I’m not taking any chances.”

Katya’s hands start wandering down Trixie’s back and to her ass. “I’m pretty sure I did the nailing down.”

Trixie screeches and slaps her arm. “You’re awful.”

Katya grabs two handfuls of butt and pulls her flush against her body. “Tough luck, you’re stuck with me now.”

“Hmm, poor me.”

They are straight up making out by the time Kim and Shea return and they only notice and break apart when Shea claps, the sound echoing through the warehouse.

“Okay, Katya, time to go. We need Trixie to get her brain back online and that’s not happening as long as you are here.”

With a whine that makes Katya laugh Trixie peels herself away and Katya says goodbye to Shea and Kim before Trixie walks her back to the front door. They part with a kiss for the second time that day, as if it’s the most natural thing in the world.

*

Two weeks later the sun has returned but the heatwave hasn’t come back at full force. Unlike Katya, Trixie can’t get enough of the summer weather and as soon as she found out Katya had a rooftop terrace, she had decided that was her favourite place to unwind after a long day of making sure orders are shipped and harassing the programmer to fix the bugs on the Dollface website. 

Katya enjoys their time together. In her mind dating had always been equated with effort, but being with Trixie is so easy. Mostly they just  _ are _ around each other. They talk a lot, getting to know each other, but often Trixie is happy just doing her own thing while Katya does hers. They don’t spend all of their free time together and Katya is relieved that Trixie does not expect that of her either. But Katya gets to think about Trixie as much as she wants to now without feeling guilty.

Earlier that day Katya had enlisted Violet to go buy furniture for the terrace with her because Violet has a car (and good taste) and she had called Katya whipped for buying patio furniture for Trixie. Katya hadn’t really understood how doing something nice for her girlfriend, as she’s timidly started thinking of Trixie, that she also profits from, is somehow embarrassing and she had told Violet exactly that. She’d had no snarky reply to that.

She never really liked the terrace before, really just coming up here to smoke, which was more of a chore than something she enjoyed, but she had never tried making it feel homey. Now she sees this place in a completely different light.

“I should get some more plants,” Katya thinks out loud sitting in one of her new deck-chairs, Trixie in the other next to her. She’s glad she bought the beach umbrella, lying in the shade she has no problem with the heat. But plants would make everything look more lively. It might also have something to do with a certain dream she’s had of Trixie, that she could easily recreate.

Trixie looks up from her phone.

“Yes, that would be nice. If we get enough it’ll be like a screen and I could sunbathe topless.”

Katya grabs her own phone from the little table between them and googles the nearest garden center. 

“You look so hot in this.” Trixie holds her phone up, a picture of Violet and her on the screen. Katya’s hair is still long in it so it has to be a couple of months old, but she doesn’t remember where it was taken. 

“Where did you find this?”

“Violet’s Insta. Since you don’t have a personal one and I need to get back at you for the stalking,” Trixie explains.

“I didn’t stalk you!” Katya protests. “I never even liked any of your pictures.”

“Even worse.” 

They both go back to their phones for a moment before Trixie turns hers around to Katya again.

“Ugh, why do I feel like her eyes are following me?”

Katya looks at the picture of Violet posing with Valentina, her eyes and smile wide, looking a little bit manic.

“ _ Right _ ? That’s Valentina, she’s nice but I’m not convinced she’s not a robot.”

They end up just going through Violet’s pictures together, Katya telling Trixie who everybody is and about the days they were taken, if she remembers. Eventually they reach one of Violet, Adore and Katya, taken when Adore had started her apprenticeship at the studio. It reminds Katya of something.

“Was you saying you want a second tattoo really just a ploy to get to see me again?”

Trixie looks at her in confusion for a second. “Yes, of course!”

Katya laughs. “You really would have rather let me put a tattoo on you that you don't want than ask me out?”

“Well, I didn't think you would say yes, because you didn't flirt back!”

“I didn't know you were flirting!” Both their voices have gotten louder with affectionate exasperation.

“Oh my god.” Trixie giggles. “And besides, I  _ do _ want another tattoo, I just don't know what yet.” Her hand brushes over the tattoo on her arm, as it does sometimes when they're not even talking about it, Katya has noticed.

“I love it and I'm so happy I got it, not just because I got to meet you that way.” She looks at Katya with warmth and a small smile.

“I'm glad it was my studio that you happened to walk by.”

“I didn't just walk by, I checked your rating on Google and you had five stars.”

Katya snorts. “Good to know you didn't put your skin and health into just anybody's hands, but did your research first.”

Trixie shrugs nonchalantly, still smiling.

“Sometimes you just gotta take a chance.”

Katya silently agrees and leans over to kiss her. She doesn't notice it at first but rain starts slowly falling around them and drumming a gentle rhythm on the sunshade above.

They break apart and Trixie pulls her legs close to her body to not get wet.

“Why does it always start raining when I kiss you?” She doesn’t actually sound bothered.

“You've kissed me a lot more than it's rained. Shall we go inside?”

Trixie shakes her head and takes Katya's hand.

“Let's stay here, this is nice.”

Katya looks down at their intertwined fingers and smiles.

“It is.”

**Author's Note:**

> [This](https://etc.usf.edu/clipart/2400/2418/t_1.htm) is approximately what Trixie's tattoo is supposed to look like.
> 
> Thank you for reading! You would make my day if you left a comment either here or on tumblr where you can find me at [connyhascontrol](http://connyhascontrol.tumblr.com/).


End file.
